Today Sucked! There, I feel better.

It's ok for me to say that. I did receive many blessings but overall it's just been a dumper of a day. Guess I have to feel this way so when it's good, it's really good. Thank goodness for sleep and fresh starts.

The Harder It Gets

I don't think I was amply prepared for the way my life would be this school year. I had no idea how intense this would be. After the first week of school I thought I'd find more peace during my days and that it would feel more settled. But how wrong I was.

I find myself shocked each weekday morning that by the time I get done running kids around that it's already 9am and Bentley and myself are not ready for the day. I've been getting up earlier this week to read my scriptures in search of more peace. I thought by doing that our mornings would also go more smoothly but au' contraire mon fraire.

 I do feel like I am making so many changes right now in my life for the better and I hope to find that peace. Our schedule is just so ridiculous that at times I just have to laugh at my life. I really feel like I am trying harder and it's getting  harder. Today I posted on Facebook, oh you know, my personal account on Facebook, the one I still have... this quote:

"If for a while the harder you try, the harder it gets, take heart. So it has been with the best people who ever lived." -Jeffrey R. Holland 

I honestly seek after peace and joy. I have felt this week that by reading my scriptures and getting up earlier to do so that although the storms are still raging- and they are- that the peace is found within. How valuable a lesson to be learning. Today as I was a little blue sitting and working on a hard order that was taking a rather long time I got a knock on my door. I wasn't expecting anyone but a lady from church showed up with a little gift for the girls. As she and I talked for a bit and she left I felt the love of the Lord. I knew He knew me and my "harder" efforts aren't going unnoticed. He sent her to stop by and see me. 

I love my babies. I want to be better tomorrow than I was today. I got a memo today that read "Hey Amanda, life is never going to be easy. It will always be something." And although others have read that same message to me I just got it today and knew it was true. Guess I should put my big girl panties on and learn how to deal with all the pressure. Up until now I have still been wearing my little girl chonies. 

Maybe the big girl panties will have super powers! Well, either that or the power I am getting from doing really good things. 

Digital Photography 101

I went to a photography class on Monday night, yes it was Labor Day and I didn't know that when I pre-paid for it online. I LoVED it so much and was so inspired and uplifted to learn from two master photographers- David & Ally McKay from California. It was a five hour class and at times I was so overwhelmed learning about ISO, F-Stops & Shutter Speeds. I was so anxious to practice on manual settings and finally taking my Lola off of her automatic stance she's been on for almost a year.

Here are some of the glorious shots I got while practicing the next day:

and some of Brae that same evening:

Pretty, aren't they?

This stuff is HARD!!! I have been trying to not get discouraged and just remember how much I love to take pictures. Braelyn told me a quote that's hanging in her math teacher's classroom. It goes like this:

"A professional in anything was once a beginner." 

Here are some of the more appealing shots from that day. Thankfully the lighting, shutter speed and depth of field all lined up for these few...

I wanted to get him feeding himself since this is new for him

I will keep moving forward with my plan. It's a simple plan and it brings me peace so I will set the fear and inadequacy I feel aside. I will keep practicing. And I will keep it on manual even if I don't want to. 

A Big Mistake

Making mistakes is not new to me. I had taken this picture of a giant eraser we got and was planning to write an eloquent post about repentance and how much it means to me and I was going to use the picture to express how BIG my mistakes are generally. Well, this week is no exception, I made one so big that something valuable to me was taken away. And I didn't even know what the mistake was!

Tuesday (yesterday) I got an email from Facebook that said a third party reported something offensive from my Mandy's Wall Candy Facebook page and that they removed the offensive content: the entire page! Honestly, when I read it I supposed that Facebook just removed whatever it was that someone reported as being "offensive". I got on my computer to find that my entire page was gone. I have been working hard to build it up for over a year and had almost 700 fans. I get probably about  half my work from this page and the advertising it gives. I have many pictures on it and now it's vanished. I have no access to it at all. Facebook doesn't have a customer service department, no telephone and very measly means to get in touch with them. I've submitted the form I could find to appeal what they did and followed the directions but there has been no contact. I have no idea what exactly it was that got me in trouble. I have an idea on a couple bumper stickers that could have infringed on copyrights. I am hopeful they will communicate with me and give me a second chance. After all, I was going to blog in the same entry as repentance the principle of forgiveness, mercy and second chances. So, tonight I am posting both of the pictures I had but in different circumstances that what I had planned. 

I am trying to embrace calm and find what Heavenly Father wants me to do if I don't get it back. It makes me so sad.

Dreaming

My girls have been coming in pretty often this week into my bed at night. Cali walked in last night when I was dog tired and dead asleep and I heard her say something about having a nightmare then for some reason I mustered the words: "Just wait there until the police come."

If you know Cali you know she is always worried about something. So what woke me up out of my sleep was her response:

"gasp. Huge intake of breath in horror!"

haha That woke me up enough to realize I didn't know what I was saying and I mumbled for Cali to get into my bed.

I've been laughing out loud today thinking about her intake of breath to my response. haha That's some funny stuff. Doesn't take much these days to amuse me. :D

From the mouths of strangers

Today I was checking out at the craft store when I heard the cashier say something very quietly and though I thought I knew exactly what she said I asked her to repeat herself.

Cashier: "I don't know why some people have six kids".
Me: "I have five children".
Cashier: "You do!" "And you like it?"
Me: "Yes, I love my kids"

Duh!

She then said "well it's just a lot of work."

I don't understand how our society has come such a long way. To me, family is the most important thing. Not giving our children everything they want or having the nicest possessions. And yes, lady, having any amount of children is hard work. And it's so worth it. :D

My favorite part: "And you like it?"

I don't understand why some people offer their opinions so openly. I have opinions and I keep them to myself. I think it's so important to always use our words to uplift and show love to others. I try not to judge.

The cashier didn't mean harm, she seemed very sweet. Just thought I'd take a minute to share how much I like raising my kids. Even though it's the hardest thing I've ever done. Each day I fall short and make mistakes. Thank goodness we have Jesus Christ to make up the difference. Thank goodness for family.

First Day of School

We went outside to take some pics before school and it was so MUGGY that my camera fogged up and I was upset these were the best pics. haha 

Cali- 5th Grade!!!!

You'd think she was mad but...

NOPE. She was super excited to go ESPECIALLY since she is a big Safety Patrol girl this year! 

She wore this shirt on purpose. It says "CALI" on it for California and she told me if anyone forgets her name she will just point to the shirt. Smartie! ;)

Bell 3rd Grade :D

Ken 7th Grade

Bentley - How'd he get in the school mix? haha Home with his momma!! 

Brabes 8th Grade! I can hardly believe this! 

A sharper pic! My 5 babies!!! 

He's so hilarious. When he's full he does this! hahahahaha

...and he knows he's funny! :D