Mormon Prom & Banquet

Mormon Prom 

Softball Banquet on her Birthday <3

Kensy & Spence 

 …and Hannah :D

I love these two girls so much!!! 

K&K

Silly Apps Make Funny Videos

"Chipmunk"

"Offensive"                  

Hail Storm April 2015

Shared Birthday Party

Bentley's birthday is Cinco de Mayo and Kensington's is the 13th. This year they decided  to celebrate together. Bent has always had lame parties so this year we found an awesome coupon and took the kids to Cosmic Jump for their combined party. It was really (ghetto) fun! As long as you do not drink the water or use their nasty bathrooms. lol The kids had a lot of (sweaty) fun! Here are some pictures of the party and the kids on their birthdays. Maybe a video or two, as well. (:

 

This man is our amazing home teacher. He made these blocks for Bentley. 250 pieces. <3 

'ing' vs. 'ed'

Bentley uses the word "exciting" ALL the time! It  is so cute.

"Mom, I'm so exciting for my birthday!"

"I'm so exciting for my game."

"I'm so exciting for Cosmic Jump!"

"I'm so exciting for my birthday, Halloween, and Christmas!"

I like to write it down because soon he will  learn the difference and he will stop saying it and I will forget...

Miracles & The Lord's Hand

I have had a little note sitting on my desk for months reminding me to write this post. A lot of miracles and heavenly help has been given over the past few months and I just want to jot a few of them down. A lot of my problems come from lack of mental capacity when faced with responsibilities. I am often emotionally and mentally weighed down. I remember one weekend where I worked on 3 major papers. I finished a big one Friday and was left with two due before Saturday at bedtime. By Saturday night I was so "done" with writing I could not even think straight. I ran to pick up one of the girls at 10pm and said a prayer, through tears, on my drive asking for help. When I got home I was able to start the flow of thinking and finished out a decent paper. I know I received help beyond what I was mentally and emotionally capable of that night. 

Another time I received practical help was when I was asked out on a date a couple months ago. I said yes way in advance, and then in typical Amanda fashion, as the date got closer I really wanted to back out. I have a big thing with wasting time I don't have. I would rather be with my kids or sleep or do something responsible than go on a date with someone I know there's no future with. The week leading up to the date I was really wanting to cancel but it wasn't the right thing to do. I woke up the morning of the date with a new attitude of excitement. I know that helpful attitude was not of me because I wanted  to stay home lol. I was very grateful for the Lord's help because that made the day and date enjoyable. 

Kensington was the softball manager for her school team this year and it's tradition that all the Varsity players and managers take turns hosting pasta night at their houses. I was really hoping Kensington's house would get skipped. I don't host, I don't cook well, and most everyday I struggle just to feed my own kids, let alone an entire team of kids. Kensington did not get skipped and when it came time to have the dinner I was filled with peace. The peace I felt made everything ok. The entire event was smooth and calm. I was SO grateful for that help! 

I don't think I ever blogged about the miracle of Braelyn's car. Last summer Josh offered their old car to Shannon's family and in turn Shannon offered it to Braelyn to use. It was free, except for tags and registration, and has been such a blessing to our family! It's a Chrysler PT Cruiser, red with brown paneling on the side. It's not the most handsome car but it RUNS!! And she loves it. How many families do you know receive a free car for their teenager to drive around? 

The past month has been so stressful and intense financially and schedule-wise. I ran out of my school loans the end of March and was scared. Every time I would start to get nervous I would feel this "peace wall" right there, which let me know the Lord was aware and had a plan. My vinyl cutting machine had been acting up for months and I was too overwhelm and broke to look into fixing it... until one day it really broke bad. I called the company who manufactures it and they suggested replacing one part of the machine to see if it would work. The dilemma was that if I spent the money on that one part I would not have any money left to send the machine in IF the part didn't make it work! This was the time I was praying for 3 specific miracles from the Lord:

1- the piece I ordered would fix the vinyl cutter machine

2- (not glamorous) much needed help with food money

3- a babysitting job to provide for my family

 It was amazing and not surprising at the same time to watch the Lord answer my prayers and grant my miracles. Every one of them. The piece did fix the vinyl machine. The state granted a decent amount of money each month for food (more the first month than ever before, then a decent amount each month after for six months... I hate that part of my life and desire to provide on my own but am grateful for the help), and a door was opened to a wonderful babysitting opportunity to earn money to pay the bills and extras in May. 

Recently I was trying to trade Kensington's phone in for an upgrade for her birthday. This would help me in two ways. She gets a nice gift and no out of pocket expense to me. I did say "no out of pocket expense to me", right! That was the key! Initially, the month before her birthday, the lady at Verizon told me it was do-able. Then, last week I called in to order and the lady told me her phone wasn't eligible. After staying on the phone for a long time she verified it was NOT possible at this time. I then knew I would have to come up with money for her gift... money which I did not have. The money I made last week babysitting was not going to be enough for everything I needed. I went to the temple and as I left I called Verizon back to make sure one last time that it wasn't a possibility. The lady talked it over with her manager and called me back letting me know they COULD do it. It was an "open door" in my eyes; helping me better provide for all our other needs. 

Some people may look at our miracles and the Lord's hand in my life as coincidences or think I am looking too hard but I know in whom I trust and share that there is no way that I could be doing all this on my own. 5 kids, by myself, less child support than I'm supposed to receive, unstable child support at that, full time college student, preparing a full time college student to leave this summer, owner of vinyl company, babysitter, training for part time Swim Instructor Admin. job... church, home life, schedules... yeah, no way! < 3

May. Mayyyyyyyyybe I'm Losing My Mind

The last two weeks have been ridiculous. May is always insane but it arrived early this year and the crazy seeped into April, too. :o I am venting my life, my frustrations, my cray on here so that I can look back with fondness on my accomplishment of NOT being admitted  to the padded rooms!

Currently, I am babysitting away from home M-F from noon to 5. This has been a hard adjustment because it truly feels like I am a working mom. B & I have to pack a lunch everyday and have everything I need to work on (while the little guy naps) together (which means I need to be mentally organized to know what I need in advance- truly an art form)! I have also picked up a part time job and have been training for that 3 mornings a week so we leave the house usually before ten or some mornings 11. I am also in my final week of school and still holding down my vinyl business. Juggling the housework is non-existent and trying to get the girls to do what they are supposed to do is a struggle, partly because of their crazy schedules. Speaking of their schedules I'd like to touch on that. Brae just had prom last weekend. I am so glad it's over. For real, so stressful on the pocketbook. Not to feel too much relief that it's over, however, because Kensington is right behind her with Softball Banquet and then Cali, three days later, with 8th Grade Dance. Let's throw in 2 birthdays in a weeks' time: B was this past Tuesday, and K is next Wednesday. That does wonders for finances, too. Oh, don't forget the balloons. Ya' know all the tiny details...

Speaking of tiny details... my brain is exploding! It's ugly! Brae is finishing up her Senior year and since she skipped a year in order to graduate early, she has double the load of classes! She is planning to apply to nursing school soon and she needs straight A's in her pre-reqs! Trying to oversee her getting an A, while working on my own grades, and managing all the above *and  more* is overwhelming! Brae also needs to attend New Student Orientation for Blinn soon. I tried to register her for that but she has holds on her Lonestar Account that have to be removed before I can... sent her to take care of that... still waiting on the holds to come off... NSO costs money, too! We need to call her landlord to touch base about the housing down payment. She & Ken decided they want to go to Mormon Prom this weekend... WHY NOT!!<3?? haha

more details...

I applied for Financial Aid for this coming fall. One would expect the process of applying to be like last time. Not so! This time I was the lucky one who got pulled for "scrutiny" and they want to pick apart my taxes and need proof out the wazoo! Problem is I don't have half of what they need and the other half are details I have no idea how to get!

The details of daily life are out of control. How to get what my kids need, both schedule and financially, is way beyond me. I am giving all I can and doing the very best I can and I am falling short everyday. Not that I blame myself because one person can only do so much, but the fact is there are holes still. I pray for the Lord to compensate and to make up the difference. I hope He strengthens me so that I don't end up in the white room before this is all said and done.

And I hope I get my financial aid!