Day Off

Days off are really hard for me. I experience more anxiety than usual. The reason why is because I have so very many different responsibilities that need my attention and it's up to me to figure out what to work on, when, and for how long. Today is Good Friday and we are off work. Do I work on vinyl, school assignments, research papers, clean my bathroom, spend time with the kids, run errands for Easter, work out, do dishes, go to the temple...? All of them "need" my time.

At least work/school days offer structure and take the pressure off with no "free time".

... this is an "edit" or more that I've been pondering today. I sat down to "map" out my day tomorrow and it's so busy I'm not even going to attempt to write it out. However, something hit me today and reminded me of an answer I received two weeks ago in relation to this subject. We attended the North Stake's Stake Conference for church two weeks ago where Elder Dallin H. Oaks spoke. There has been a lot mentioned over the last two years from church leaders about "Keeping the Sabbath day holy". Elder Oaks was speaking about this topic and he said that Sunday is a day "separate" from the other days and  that we do "different" things than we typically do on the Sabbath. He acknowledged that it looks differently for each family. He was talking about the six creative periods and said the Lord worked for six "days" and rested on the seventh. The Spirit touched my heart when he spoke those specific words and I realized that I need to re-adjust the way I think about my days each week. I was in need of the reminder (or lesson) that I "work" for six days and rest for one. In the past, Saturday was always part of the weekend and was a family day or free day. It is not anymore and if I can keep that in remembrance it helps me not feel "cheated". 

Grandma Tynes' Funeral

School is Stupid.

I don't really feel that way, but those words did come out in my prayer tonight. Today was such a hard, exhausting day. I found out on Monday that my research paper for philosophy was due tonight at 8 PM. I had one day to write it and of all days my Internet at home decided to go out. I went to work for a few hours to use the Internet there and to submit my paper I went to a friends house. It was submitted with 19 minutes to spare. Interspersed in my day was babysitting and dentist appointments, which are a fight in and of themselves with Bentley. After my paper was submitted I had a two hour lab for oceanography and an assignment due for sociology. As I reflect at the end of the day I feel sad because I feel like school makes me sacrifice being a good mother. On days like today I'm super stressed out and I'm shorter with the kids. Being a mom is the very most important part of my life. I have to remind myself that days like today are rare and I have to just keep on going because I know this is what I'm supposed to be doing.

Maybe however on days like today, I will allow myself to say "school is stupid".

(I got a 98% on that paper!!) 

Forrest Gump Plays Soccer

I'm working on these decals tonight. Bella looks over from my bed & says "what does that say? ... Tom Hanks"? 

She wasn't kidding. Lol. She cracks me up. 

...And this one just because!!!! Hahaha 

Don't Make Us Go Back

Spring Break has been "flipping" awesome…

Top Video is Me
Middle is Ken
Bottom is Bella

We went to Cosmic Jump. We watched lots of movies, and overall we enjoyed NOT having school work. :))

 PLEASE don't make us go back to school...

I will always love you

We drove up to Indiana to attend the services for my grandmother. It is a 14 hour drive and Bentley, Bella, and I went up. The week after she passed my life was super crazy (like always) and her passing didn't really hit me until we got closer to her hometown. It was a tender mercy that Bella and Bentley fell asleep about two hours out (they were exhausted and Bella tried SO hard to stay awake for me). I was able to contemplate on memories of my grandma. When we were just outside of Evansville this song came on the radio from Dolly Parton. It was beautiful and perfect. Now, it reminds me of her.

What Freedom Feels Like

We got back from our Indiana trip last night. I went to work this morning and thought all day that I had a video & paper to watch/write by 8pm. To my utter surprise when I checked in at 6 to begin the assignment, there was NONE due. That meant my only deadline tonight was at 11. I was so happy to have a few hours of free time!!

The freedom truly felt so nice.

Grandma

...The morning after our last night at grandma's house we left so early that my aunt and uncle and cousin were still asleep. I quietly shut this door for the last time...

This door... 

Sigmund Freud

The more I become familiar with Sigmund Freud's philosophies on infant sexual stages the more I think he is completely off his rocker!!! Seriously.