Angels Among Us

The past couple weeks have been really hard. Emotionally. Financially. It's draining. I am astonished at how the Lord blesses me with his tender mercies every single day. I look back from the separation until now and He has been beside me every step of the way. He has protected me and my family and has provided for us all along. Every step of the way. This week has been a hard week. I am learning a lot about myself and others. I am needy of my friends and family's advice and help. I am buoyed up constantly by their words. They carry me. They fill the void my heart feels. Last night I was able to visit with my cousin, Curtis for a long time. He had good words of advice that sunk in deep to my heart. He helped me to see that often times I see things that aren't reality. Why do I do that? Why does my heart grasp things so often and doesn't choose to see the reality- in relationships. He helped me to learn to run with what I get and not what I want and also to focus on what I need and not what I want. Huh... this tends to center around not getting what I want. Isn't that the hardest thing in life- when we have to deal with disappointment and not getting what we want. Even when what we want is righteous and good. When I was growing up my sister and I were spoiled. I felt like when we moved out into the real world that we didn't know how to deal with disappointment. It was harsh to have the world teach that to me. I have been cautious and mindful of that as I parent my kids. I want them to learn to deal with disappointment while in the home so they can handle it when the world lets them down and life in general. I'm still learning how to deal myself. I can't even express how thankful I am for a loving Heavenly Father who knows me and my situation and has blessed me everyday with friends, family, kind words, truthful words, an awakening of my soul to what is real and what is conjured up by my heart to be some fantasy, the joy of my kids and their unconditional love, our home, the peace that come from only Him, and how he always takes care of us.

Last night I received another anonymous gift from someone who knows me and "loves me" as the card stated. It had cash in it and came at the most opportune time. I am so thankful (and humbled). I am so fortunate for the angels that walk among me and are God's hands. My heart is so full today.