I want to record daily life experiences. Many days school is not a sacrifice at all and other days I give everything I have, and then some. Today would be the "... and then some". My sweet grandmother passed away this afternoon. All I wanted to do the rest of the day was cry myself to sleep. I have two papers due tomorrow night and no time in between to do them so they must be done tonight. Words can not even begin to convey how much my heart and head are not in these assignments today.
My heart is broken.
Thursday, January 28, 2016
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
The Walking Dead
I registered for a sociology class this semester that is based on the show "The Walking Dead". I have never seen any episodes before this class and I knew I may not handle it very well. I took the class to stretch myself a little and step out of my comfort zone. I watched the first episode last night near midnight and admit it was a tad unsettling! :o
I saw this meme today and this was me when Morgan's wife was on the front porch… and several other parts! haha
Monday, January 25, 2016
Orange ---> Syllables
Bentley asked for an orange for his snack tonight. I peeled it and gave him half. He looked into the bowl and said can you make my orange into syllables?
I said "or... ange.."
He said "no, put my orange into syllables, each piece in the bowl". He didn't like the half stuck together apparently.
haha!!! Where does he get this stuff!?
I said "or... ange.."
He said "no, put my orange into syllables, each piece in the bowl". He didn't like the half stuck together apparently.
haha!!! Where does he get this stuff!?
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
Upstairs
Some day… I will go upstairs in the beautiful room...
I was touched with some thoughts that President Hayes spoke to our youth group tonight. ❤️
TP
My grateful item for the week is:
Toilet Paper.
Over the weekend 2 out of three bathrooms were out of toilet paper. It goes to show that when you get something after going without, it means so much more to you.
Cute Kids
Myself in Handout form
This was my first official assignment in my Sociology class this semester. Too bad every assignment isn't as fun! I am looking forward to this class, it's based off of The Walking Dead! :o
Friday, January 15, 2016
Monday, January 11, 2016
Sunday, January 10, 2016
2015 Goals
I started out 2015 with a goal for the year to become healthier and lose weight. Through the stress of the previous years I had gained a lot of extra weight. January through May I had zero carbs. I wouldn't eat fruit or bread. No juice, no soda, no sugar. For real. (Wow! That was pretty intense. haha). May started getting really stressful and I "fell off" the wagon (again and no surprise!) but it's relevant to note I had lost 19 pounds at that point. It's relevant because by the end of 2015 I had put 13 of that back on! :o hahaha
In all seriousness, 2015 did end with me having a great desire to be healthy and "trying" to make better choices and lose the extra weight. Here is me: I can have major self control when I'm in a zone. When I fall off I fall hard. I binge. It's ugly. It's really nonsensical and I believe it to be a form of abuse, though I'm not quite cognizant of "why" the bingeing continues. I've always been an "all or nothing" personality. There has never been a middle ground or moderation for that matter. It scares me. The older I get, the more I see how I am, the more scared it makes me. The reason is because I have no "control" over myself when it get that way.
I started out 2016 with the same goal: to be healthier. I started off with fasting and prayer. I communicated with the Lord what I could see about myself and that no matter how many times I tried (even fasting in the past for help) I failed. No matter what I have done I would eventually "fall". I always fall. BUT I have learned some valuable lessons the past few years in my process of overcoming my soda addiction (in the past I would have a 64oz soda every morning except Sunday before 8:30am and the soda drinking would continue all day). I would start and do well then fall back down but I was always a little stronger when I got back up and began again. Eventually, strong enough to give it up for good. I believe that will be the process with this. After fasting last week for help I had a realization that, for me, "dieting" will not work. The Lord showed me that monitoring my calories and eating healthy and exercising will be my answer. "I" still scare myself but am hopeful the Lord will continue to help me. I find that when I monitor my calories (maybe I will forever have to enter info to my app each day) and exercise I feel better each day. I feel more confident in myself. Jolynn mentioned today that when we recognize our addictions we are free to admit that our addictions are supporting Satan in robbing us of our agency and when we give our addictions to the Lord, He empowers us with more agency. So true. <3
In all seriousness, 2015 did end with me having a great desire to be healthy and "trying" to make better choices and lose the extra weight. Here is me: I can have major self control when I'm in a zone. When I fall off I fall hard. I binge. It's ugly. It's really nonsensical and I believe it to be a form of abuse, though I'm not quite cognizant of "why" the bingeing continues. I've always been an "all or nothing" personality. There has never been a middle ground or moderation for that matter. It scares me. The older I get, the more I see how I am, the more scared it makes me. The reason is because I have no "control" over myself when it get that way.
I started out 2016 with the same goal: to be healthier. I started off with fasting and prayer. I communicated with the Lord what I could see about myself and that no matter how many times I tried (even fasting in the past for help) I failed. No matter what I have done I would eventually "fall". I always fall. BUT I have learned some valuable lessons the past few years in my process of overcoming my soda addiction (in the past I would have a 64oz soda every morning except Sunday before 8:30am and the soda drinking would continue all day). I would start and do well then fall back down but I was always a little stronger when I got back up and began again. Eventually, strong enough to give it up for good. I believe that will be the process with this. After fasting last week for help I had a realization that, for me, "dieting" will not work. The Lord showed me that monitoring my calories and eating healthy and exercising will be my answer. "I" still scare myself but am hopeful the Lord will continue to help me. I find that when I monitor my calories (maybe I will forever have to enter info to my app each day) and exercise I feel better each day. I feel more confident in myself. Jolynn mentioned today that when we recognize our addictions we are free to admit that our addictions are supporting Satan in robbing us of our agency and when we give our addictions to the Lord, He empowers us with more agency. So true. <3
Miracles
We are recipients of so many miracles. They come to us both small & large. Recently I was scheduled to go out to dinner with Robin and her friend, Tammy. The day of, my car started acting up. When I found out my battery was bad I backed out of the dinner so I could re-arrange my finances and figure out how to pay for a new battery. Immediately the ladies told me to hold off and that they were going to make some phone calls. The next thing I knew they told me they were purchasing the battery and Robin's son in law would switch the old for the new. The need was taken care of AS SOON as it arose. So many things had to be in place for that to play out that way. First, it was on the calendar for me to go out with Robin & Tammy that night. Tammy was only in town for the weekend. If I wasn't scheduled to go with them they wouldn't have known about the battery in the first place. If Tammy wasn't in town it wouldn't have happened that way. It amazes me. Still does weeks later how it all worked out.
A few days later I took Ken to the bank to open a checking account for her. We sat down with the banker and she glanced at my account and told me I needed to redeem my reward points before the end of the month when we lose them. I had no idea about points or the reward system. I am so thankful we went in that day and that the banker just happened to notice my reward points because it turns out I cashed them in for $218! My check should arrive within three weeks. Miracle.
The greatest miracle I have ever received is still in effect. Nearly two years ago (and I believe I've blogged about this previously) a woman found out about me through a guy in my church and had been looking for a local single mother to help out. She met with me in my home and extended monthly help. She and her husband have been sending me money every single month (usually she doubles up and sends it every other month). I will say our financial ends would not meet each month if we did not receive their help. I have faith that this is the Savior's way of providing for us and I also have faith that when the time comes this help goes away that He will still provide. He is amazing. This family is amazing, they are my angels on earth.
At Christmas time last month we had an anonymous giver share a generous amount of money with us. We also had a family (or families) do the 12 Days of Christmas and each day was a generous amount of goodies, if not cash and gift cards. We continue to feel the Lord's love for us, see His hand, and witness the goodness in others who surround us. We are truly blessed. <3
A few days later I took Ken to the bank to open a checking account for her. We sat down with the banker and she glanced at my account and told me I needed to redeem my reward points before the end of the month when we lose them. I had no idea about points or the reward system. I am so thankful we went in that day and that the banker just happened to notice my reward points because it turns out I cashed them in for $218! My check should arrive within three weeks. Miracle.
The greatest miracle I have ever received is still in effect. Nearly two years ago (and I believe I've blogged about this previously) a woman found out about me through a guy in my church and had been looking for a local single mother to help out. She met with me in my home and extended monthly help. She and her husband have been sending me money every single month (usually she doubles up and sends it every other month). I will say our financial ends would not meet each month if we did not receive their help. I have faith that this is the Savior's way of providing for us and I also have faith that when the time comes this help goes away that He will still provide. He is amazing. This family is amazing, they are my angels on earth.
At Christmas time last month we had an anonymous giver share a generous amount of money with us. We also had a family (or families) do the 12 Days of Christmas and each day was a generous amount of goodies, if not cash and gift cards. We continue to feel the Lord's love for us, see His hand, and witness the goodness in others who surround us. We are truly blessed. <3
D is for DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN. A is for MERCY
The first semester (August-December) of my second year in college started out with four classes. They were online college algebra, ... actually it doesn't even matter what other classes were mixed in with that class. That class was like a black poison that infiltrated every other class and every aspect of my life. lol There was one Saturday that broke me and I realized there was no way I could keep taking the class at that time. I dropped it and at the time I had D's in every other class as well.
I worked really hard in the other 3 classes and the fourth (replacement) class started in October (accelerated). I prayed a lot before the semester and communicated with the Lord how important getting A's was to me, especially since I started working nearly full time at the start of the semester.
As the semester went on I could see the Lord's grace over and over. In the scheme of things the semester was the easiest so far. Two of my classes were on the verge of B's and the final week determined what my grades would be. I was super ecstatic and humbled to pull all A's.
When it comes times to take the College Algebra I will NOT be taking it online. Grateful to drop the math class. Grateful for grace.
I worked really hard in the other 3 classes and the fourth (replacement) class started in October (accelerated). I prayed a lot before the semester and communicated with the Lord how important getting A's was to me, especially since I started working nearly full time at the start of the semester.
As the semester went on I could see the Lord's grace over and over. In the scheme of things the semester was the easiest so far. Two of my classes were on the verge of B's and the final week determined what my grades would be. I was super ecstatic and humbled to pull all A's.
When it comes times to take the College Algebra I will NOT be taking it online. Grateful to drop the math class. Grateful for grace.
Sunday, January 3, 2016
Christmas 2015
Bentley is the only one in our family who does not wear glasses. He knows he's the only one and, some days, feels left out. He found his sister's glasses this day...
Our elf went fishing in the downstairs sink but it went over Bella's head. She just came in to me that morning and informed me the elf was sitting on the sink with floss and there were goldfish in the sink... 
Cali and I managed to get out by ourselves to do some Christmas shopping. It was a REALLY fun night out. <3
We found this adorable writing on our calendar. Bentley did this all by himself. "Almost Christmas" & "Christmas" day. 
On Christmas Eve we went to a nursing home with some members of our church to sing. I caught B behind us going through homemade cards as we were singing. 
Selfie after singing at the nursing home.
Timed selfie 
Our dang cat really disturbed our tree this year, especially the last few days. This was her the last day the tree was up (Tuesday after Christmas). She managed to clear most of the ornaments off the right side of the tree. She climbed up it a few times. Notice how crooked & flat the tree is. 
Twinning with new jacket's from grandma. <3
Our family <3 Merry Christmas.
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