good. better. best.

I find myself always struggling to find a balance with everything on my plate. There is always so much I need to be doing. I need to take time for myself and read my scriptures and pray and exercise. I need to take care of my babies and our home. I need to run the business and I need to gain experience with photography. I need to sleep (I wish I didn't need this). I always have over a hundred things I could be doing so it's always a matter of prioritizing. It's always a matter of good, better, best. Exercise is good but it's not what's best right now. To fit that in my day I've learned I will need to get up before six and right now that's not happening! ha

Monday I was overwhelmed. It was the day titled "This day sucks!" on the post a couple before this one. I knew at some point I needed to make a trip to Lowe's to get supplies and it was also FHE that night (Family Home Evening where we are encouraged to meet with our family and do an activity or thought and just spend time together). I was inspired I tell ya' to combine our FHE and my shopping trip into one. I made a "Mission Possible" game, gave the spiritual thought on being good examples to those around us and we were off. The girls were on two teams and they were off to find certain items in Lowes while I shopped. They were to take pictures in front of the items they found and when they were done they were to bring them back to me. I thought 8 would keep them busy for awhile bc I had quite a lot of supplies to get. My first item to buy was wood and since my stinking saw broke two weeks ago I now have to wait upon the saw guy to make his way back to me (dread). So, while I was thus waiting so patiently both teams made it back to me with their completed lists...wanting more! haha They finished before I got the first thing done. I sent them back off to re-do the lists with diff items and that made them happy. After our hunt/mandatory supply shopping we went for frozen yogurt. I had gotten a refund back on something and it paid for our outing. It made us so happy to go somewhere we hadn't tried before and we ate our yummy snack and I think I counted each girl saying multiple times "thanks momma, this is so fun". I knew that this inspired activity that allowed me to do two important things was not only good, it was best. I will never forget this night.

Here are two pics from Secret Agents Braelyn & Cali, Kensi's darn phone won't send the pics to me. I will work on it so I can upload some of Ken & Bella. 

The item was to find something for a family

The item was to find an "x"

A Surprise in Sacrament Meeting

The first hour of our block of church meetings is called Sacrament. We all sit together for that 70 minute block of time. This past Sunday Bentley was snacking on some Lucky Charms and eventually got my inhaler out to play with. I keep the medicine to it in my bag but he plays with the yellow shell. At one point Cali was playing with it and she pretended to inhale and to her surprise Bentley had put a Lucky Charm inside it and she inhaled it just right to cause her to choke. Probably because she wasn't prepared for that but regardless she came to me holding her throat unable to talk and faaaa-reaked me out. I grabbed her and we walked out fast and once we jiggled her she got it to go down. Crazy girl went out with bare feet and all. Darn that cereal in the inhaler- wasn't so lucky after all. We were so thankful she was safe and ok. Perhaps a blessing of being where we were supposed to be in the first place.

As a side note Cali serves as a Safety Patrol at school everyday. She does it in the am and after school. The teacher who is over these kids told me two days ago that she loves Cali and that she is so MIGHTY in a tiny body. I've always said that to describe her! She packs a punch! Believe me. And now my Mighty Cali Llama is going to play the fiddle! haha I learned tonight at a very long meeting that a fiddle is the same as a violin. Cali is joining the orchestra. Upon fitting her for the instrument we learned that even the smallest violin they had there was too big for her. She's the cutest!

Today Sucked! There, I feel better.

It's ok for me to say that. I did receive many blessings but overall it's just been a dumper of a day. Guess I have to feel this way so when it's good, it's really good. Thank goodness for sleep and fresh starts.

The Harder It Gets

I don't think I was amply prepared for the way my life would be this school year. I had no idea how intense this would be. After the first week of school I thought I'd find more peace during my days and that it would feel more settled. But how wrong I was.

I find myself shocked each weekday morning that by the time I get done running kids around that it's already 9am and Bentley and myself are not ready for the day. I've been getting up earlier this week to read my scriptures in search of more peace. I thought by doing that our mornings would also go more smoothly but au' contraire mon fraire.

 I do feel like I am making so many changes right now in my life for the better and I hope to find that peace. Our schedule is just so ridiculous that at times I just have to laugh at my life. I really feel like I am trying harder and it's getting  harder. Today I posted on Facebook, oh you know, my personal account on Facebook, the one I still have... this quote:

"If for a while the harder you try, the harder it gets, take heart. So it has been with the best people who ever lived." -Jeffrey R. Holland 

I honestly seek after peace and joy. I have felt this week that by reading my scriptures and getting up earlier to do so that although the storms are still raging- and they are- that the peace is found within. How valuable a lesson to be learning. Today as I was a little blue sitting and working on a hard order that was taking a rather long time I got a knock on my door. I wasn't expecting anyone but a lady from church showed up with a little gift for the girls. As she and I talked for a bit and she left I felt the love of the Lord. I knew He knew me and my "harder" efforts aren't going unnoticed. He sent her to stop by and see me. 

I love my babies. I want to be better tomorrow than I was today. I got a memo today that read "Hey Amanda, life is never going to be easy. It will always be something." And although others have read that same message to me I just got it today and knew it was true. Guess I should put my big girl panties on and learn how to deal with all the pressure. Up until now I have still been wearing my little girl chonies. 

Maybe the big girl panties will have super powers! Well, either that or the power I am getting from doing really good things. 

Digital Photography 101

I went to a photography class on Monday night, yes it was Labor Day and I didn't know that when I pre-paid for it online. I LoVED it so much and was so inspired and uplifted to learn from two master photographers- David & Ally McKay from California. It was a five hour class and at times I was so overwhelmed learning about ISO, F-Stops & Shutter Speeds. I was so anxious to practice on manual settings and finally taking my Lola off of her automatic stance she's been on for almost a year.

Here are some of the glorious shots I got while practicing the next day:

and some of Brae that same evening:

Pretty, aren't they?

This stuff is HARD!!! I have been trying to not get discouraged and just remember how much I love to take pictures. Braelyn told me a quote that's hanging in her math teacher's classroom. It goes like this:

"A professional in anything was once a beginner." 

Here are some of the more appealing shots from that day. Thankfully the lighting, shutter speed and depth of field all lined up for these few...

I wanted to get him feeding himself since this is new for him

I will keep moving forward with my plan. It's a simple plan and it brings me peace so I will set the fear and inadequacy I feel aside. I will keep practicing. And I will keep it on manual even if I don't want to. 

A Big Mistake

Making mistakes is not new to me. I had taken this picture of a giant eraser we got and was planning to write an eloquent post about repentance and how much it means to me and I was going to use the picture to express how BIG my mistakes are generally. Well, this week is no exception, I made one so big that something valuable to me was taken away. And I didn't even know what the mistake was!

Tuesday (yesterday) I got an email from Facebook that said a third party reported something offensive from my Mandy's Wall Candy Facebook page and that they removed the offensive content: the entire page! Honestly, when I read it I supposed that Facebook just removed whatever it was that someone reported as being "offensive". I got on my computer to find that my entire page was gone. I have been working hard to build it up for over a year and had almost 700 fans. I get probably about  half my work from this page and the advertising it gives. I have many pictures on it and now it's vanished. I have no access to it at all. Facebook doesn't have a customer service department, no telephone and very measly means to get in touch with them. I've submitted the form I could find to appeal what they did and followed the directions but there has been no contact. I have no idea what exactly it was that got me in trouble. I have an idea on a couple bumper stickers that could have infringed on copyrights. I am hopeful they will communicate with me and give me a second chance. After all, I was going to blog in the same entry as repentance the principle of forgiveness, mercy and second chances. So, tonight I am posting both of the pictures I had but in different circumstances that what I had planned. 

I am trying to embrace calm and find what Heavenly Father wants me to do if I don't get it back. It makes me so sad.