The Harder It Gets

I don't think I was amply prepared for the way my life would be this school year. I had no idea how intense this would be. After the first week of school I thought I'd find more peace during my days and that it would feel more settled. But how wrong I was.

I find myself shocked each weekday morning that by the time I get done running kids around that it's already 9am and Bentley and myself are not ready for the day. I've been getting up earlier this week to read my scriptures in search of more peace. I thought by doing that our mornings would also go more smoothly but au' contraire mon fraire.

 I do feel like I am making so many changes right now in my life for the better and I hope to find that peace. Our schedule is just so ridiculous that at times I just have to laugh at my life. I really feel like I am trying harder and it's getting  harder. Today I posted on Facebook, oh you know, my personal account on Facebook, the one I still have... this quote:

"If for a while the harder you try, the harder it gets, take heart. So it has been with the best people who ever lived." -Jeffrey R. Holland 

I honestly seek after peace and joy. I have felt this week that by reading my scriptures and getting up earlier to do so that although the storms are still raging- and they are- that the peace is found within. How valuable a lesson to be learning. Today as I was a little blue sitting and working on a hard order that was taking a rather long time I got a knock on my door. I wasn't expecting anyone but a lady from church showed up with a little gift for the girls. As she and I talked for a bit and she left I felt the love of the Lord. I knew He knew me and my "harder" efforts aren't going unnoticed. He sent her to stop by and see me. 

I love my babies. I want to be better tomorrow than I was today. I got a memo today that read "Hey Amanda, life is never going to be easy. It will always be something." And although others have read that same message to me I just got it today and knew it was true. Guess I should put my big girl panties on and learn how to deal with all the pressure. Up until now I have still been wearing my little girl chonies. 

Maybe the big girl panties will have super powers! Well, either that or the power I am getting from doing really good things.