Easter

I feel in my heart this Easter Sunday that this day symbolizes a "New Beginning".

My Spa Treatment

I had a really bad day last Monday (& Tuesday). Monday night Cali and Bella called me into my room with a surprise. They had set up my room as a spa. I got a long massage

see pic :) 

then a pedicure and manicure! 

It was the highlight of my day. Made me feel very loved. 

Democrats & Raising Children

Heaven help me.

I have always been concerned about raising a certain child but there is one who is proving she, instead, may be the death of me. She is irrational, self centered and has this constant sense of entitlement about her. She is negative and whiny and always looking for what she gets next. She is loud. Nothing she gets seems to be good enough. She is ungrateful. Today I had this realization...

 I am raising a democrat.

Monday Mania :(

I woke up early this morning and was excited for a new day. I went to bed early pretty psyched to get a lot of work done today. I got up, read my scriptures, said my prayer, showered and did my checkbook all before I had to leave at 7:45 to do my school run.

I woke up to an email informing me that a woman opened a dispute/claim against my store on Etsy. No one has ever done that. Hard to not take it personally though I know it's business. The claim is bogus and is now even closed but it was not pretty waking up to that nonsense. I went to find some comfy pants to wear today and they were all dirty and I had to put on jeans. ugh. Nothing worse than putting on jeans Monday morning. I despise jeans nowadays. ;) I hit my head on the cabinet on my way out the door at 7:45 and wasn't feeling too shabby on how my day had started.

We were out of bread and cereal this morning so I needed to stop and quickly run in to get Cali little donuts from the corner store. I really have zero minutes to do this in my morning routine but I did! I get them home and she is upset bc she doesn't like the kind I got her. We had to go so we both got in the car upset. She was teary bc she wanted breakfast and I was upset bc she didn't like what I got. I told her we'd stop and get a different kind of donut but she didn't want to be tardy. Whatever. I went to the donut store and got her two fresh donuts and pulled up to the school the exact minute the bell rang. She got out without a word of thanks.

Pretty crappy morning. I've been trying to turn the day around since then. The nonsense claim is now a closed case and I have on a different pair of comfy pants. It's already better than it was!

Favorite Things

I've been doing this new thing where I ask Bentley at night as we are going to sleep what his favorite thing was that day. Here are his answers so far:

"The park" the day we went to Discovery Green

"Playing at Asher's house" after having a play date with his best bud

"Watching Hugax (The Lorax). Watching Hugax with Asher." We rode in the car with Shannon & the kids running errands & the kids watched movies.

That's all so far. I think it's amazing he understands what favorite means & communicates it with me. <3 him!

Isn't The New Stick Beautiful

This morning I woke up and desired with all my heart to get a new turn signal-headlight stick . To my utter delight my wish was granted!!! Here's a picture, isn't it beautiful!?! ;) 

It's even more than what I dreamt it would be!!! 

For real, I hate replacing things that don't make a difference from how they were when you woke up that morning. 

I went & took my car for state inspection first thing today and it failed! I was shocked. Mr Sticker told me it just needed the switch replaced or fixed that controlled the headlights because it was not switching off bright beams. He showed me. I hadn't noticed a problem prior to this. Occasionally I would look down and my brights would be on but I could switch them back off to low. 

I took it to the mechanic...

It was very expensive...

I cried a little to my best friend while she took me home without Stella...

I traded my right kidney for the new stick...

Got the new & improved Stella back...

went back to Mr Sticker & they were busy...

then I went back again and they gave me my new state sticker. 

Stella is good for one more year. She is breaking my bank. Well between her and how much milk my kids go through. 

But you have to admit the new stick is pretty shiny. Makes me so happy. And I can tell a difference when I use the blinker too! Bonus! ; / 

DVR

Cali just sent this text from home:

I just saw the weirdest thing Bentley went to recordings and put it to Tom and Jerry on his own

He does this now when he wants one of his shows on. I don't know if I should be proud or terrified that my 2.5 year old works the DVR correctly.

I Know Who I Am & What I Want

My heart hurts to know my kids don't have a father in the home. More than anything I want to find someone to share my life with and who will be a good example to and love my kids.

The last few years I have completely found myself. I have discovered who I am and my worth as a daughter of God. I am grateful I went to counseling. It was the single most important thing I've done for myself. I spent my entire life up to that point trying to please everyone and was dependent on what they thought of me as to how I felt about myself. I was a people-pleaser and if anyone was unhappy with me I couldn't sleep. The counseling helped me to affirm myself and to value my worth. I didn't value myself before that. I sold myself short often. Since then and through experiences I have learned just WHO I am and who I am NOT. I have had a few instances in the temple where I was given a witness to who I am and my worth. I have met people who have helped me see what exactly it is I am looking for and what I don't want.

I have had friends in my life the past few months who take to my kids very easily and it melts my heart. My kids deserve that everyday. However I am looking for the right one and am holding out for him. I want someone who is like Christ and who is trying to be strong and who loves the Lord & who is righteous. I am looking for someone who is genuinely good or trying to be good. I am far from perfect but I'm trying to be the best person I can be for myself and in turn for someone else. I want GREAT LOVE and I'm worthy of that.

Until then I will try to be ok with my situation and will hold tight to the Atonement to fill the void in the lives of my children. And in my own heart. I will wait. He will come. It's just completely out of my control.

Teaching a Child to Drive

The more I go with Braelyn to teach her to drive the more anxiety I get. I am genuinely fearful for our lives. I so wish I had the wheel and brakes on the passenger side like they do at the Driving School. That if she were to panic and do some freak move I could save us. No, I am just helpless in the passenger seat holding onto the bar on the dash for dear life.

I think I need medication for anxiety. All I could do today was control my breathing. Deep breaths. Lots of prayer.

And on a serious note it makes me emotional that I'm the one teaching her. It was never supposed to be me. It makes me both mad and sad that her dad isn't the one doing it.

He should be the one scared for his life! jk jk

Spring Break NOT The Houston Zoo!!!

We attempted to go to the zoo on Thursday. Seriously the worst idea I've EVER had. The zoo is about 50 minutes away. As soon as we got close to the zoo the traffic hit and the stress started to settle in our car. It took us forever to get up to the entrance to the zoo only to find the police put up blockades and you couldn't pull into the entrance. They had it where you could use only one entrance and that was for a right turn only. We needed to go left. Of course.

We ended up farther and farther away from the zoo stuck in gridlock traffic on Fannin St with a screaming 2 year old and the girls were freaking out. I was highly stressed and hated the feeling of being stuck on side streets that the traffic literally wasn't moving. Just to give an idea this is how it was...

I was highly stressed. We were meeting Blake and he was fortunate enough to come from the other direction and made it into the parking lot. After 40 minutes he found a parking space so he was trying to tell me how to get in to find a space too. In the meantime I was going farther and farther away bc of all the police blockades & Bella doesn't handle my stress well so she starts FREAKING out. She was asking if there was a way OUT of all the traffic (but in a panic mode asking) and I reacted poorly to her questions and then the girls started jumping all over her case bc of her ridiculous questions. All while we are going the opposite way STUCK in traffic. AND the baby was screaming at the top of his lungs saying "I want you momma". And Bella started crying. It took us about 30 minutes to go .3 miles on Fannin (away from the zoo) just to turn around. I turned around and told all 3 of my older girls to shut their mouths and not to talk again for the trip. I think I yelled it.  I seriously don't recall a more stressful car ride ever. 

After being in the car for a total of two hours and coming to road blocks at every attempt I made to get into the parking lot, I couldn't take the pressure anymore. We decided on a back-up plan and found that Discovery Green was ten minutes away so went there instead! Before we started going I had to apologize to my kids for verbally abusing them. (I qualified for Mother of the Year award in the car that day for my bad behavior)

Discovery Green was SO awesome! It's a park in the middle of downtown. We had prepared a picnic for the zoo so we just ate it at the park and the kids played. 

Good Save!! 

 Flat Stella went with us! 

(Destiny's class sent her to us) 

I learned the hard way to stay away from the zoo and the museum district during Spring Break! Never Again. Not ever. 

The most stressful car situation I've ever been in. We are all traumatized. 

Spring Break Houston Rodeo

Our first official day of Spring Break was spent at Rodeo Houston. 

It was AMAZING!! So fun!! 

We loved it!!

It was way crowded- like you can't even walk crowded. There were lines for everything.

Everything.

There were lines to use the restroom. Then there were lines to wash your hands. Followed by a separate line to get a hand towel. 

Here are two pics we snapped while waiting in line for the Petting Zoo. 

The deer was eating my shirt.

                                                                     Shaved llama

haha poor thing has no dignity left

 Growing up this ride was called the Gravitron. It was really fun as a teenager! 

Cali and I rode it twice. 

One time too many for me. I think I'm getting old or something! 

 Bentley wanted to ride everything his sisters rode. 

This was his reaction when he couldn't ride too. 

And Brae's reaction to his reaction.

 He took this one of us at the Pig Races

 Brae & Cali on the Skyride

 They both were terrified after they rode. 

The food is huge! 

Literally.

 Mach 1

 Kensington rode this and then wanted to ride it again.

Crayyyyyyzy! 

 Her turkey leg was bigger than her head

"The turkey leg made me tired..."

-Cali

 Posing while looking at the livestock

 The original pose

 Every time I would hand tickets to the girls to ride he would want one.

So, I handed him this. He was satisfied. 

 He was able to ride a few rides in Kiddy Land. 

I'm grateful Bella is still at the age where she enjoyed taking him on the rides.

 Sisters!! <3

 This was Brae's reaction after riding G Force. She said it was much more intense than she thought! 

We were at the Rodeo for 8.5 hours! It was a challenge to keep everyone happy at all times considering we had a 2.5 year old up to a 15 year old but the girls were such amazing helpers and we all had a blast! I'm so grateful for the chance we had to go and for the memory we have now. 

Dirty Windows

I think it's definitely time to wash my car!! The kids are having way too much fun. Starting to get uncomfortable at the grocery store...

Oshi Bars

Brae has been practicing driving lately. As a parent in the passenger seat it's terrifying!!! She's doing really well but it's scary none the less.

Thank goodness for Oshi bars. I'm sure my dad used them when I was learning too!

Stella

My Stella received new boots. It was time to say good bye to my beautiful and amazing 24" dream wheels and downsize into some reasonable 18". It's just hard to let go of something you really love. I really felt that my wheels were the nicest thing I own (worldly thing I have). However I really love this look and am excited to not have to keep the rims clean! 

Still sad. 

Trying not to be ;) 

If you zoom up on the bottom pic you can see a lovely surprise! ;) 

Stay Away Bad Burglars

I totally forgot to blog about this gem (if I do say so myself). This is how I left my computer when I traveled to Arizona over Christmas.

Guilt was to be my security system. (: