My heart hurts to know my kids don't have a father in the home. More than anything I want to find someone to share my life with and who will be a good example to and love my kids.
The last few years I have completely found myself. I have discovered who I am and my worth as a daughter of God. I am grateful I went to counseling. It was the single most important thing I've done for myself. I spent my entire life up to that point trying to please everyone and was dependent on what they thought of me as to how I felt about myself. I was a people-pleaser and if anyone was unhappy with me I couldn't sleep. The counseling helped me to affirm myself and to value my worth. I didn't value myself before that. I sold myself short often. Since then and through experiences I have learned just WHO I am and who I am NOT. I have had a few instances in the temple where I was given a witness to who I am and my worth. I have met people who have helped me see what exactly it is I am looking for and what I don't want.
I have had friends in my life the past few months who take to my kids very easily and it melts my heart. My kids deserve that everyday. However I am looking for the right one and am holding out for him. I want someone who is like Christ and who is trying to be strong and who loves the Lord & who is righteous. I am looking for someone who is genuinely good or trying to be good. I am far from perfect but I'm trying to be the best person I can be for myself and in turn for someone else. I want GREAT LOVE and I'm worthy of that.
Until then I will try to be ok with my situation and will hold tight to the Atonement to fill the void in the lives of my children. And in my own heart. I will wait. He will come. It's just completely out of my control.
I believe he's out there for you friend! Matthew 6:33 says "seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
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