I feel the need to write this down. What my heart desires more than anything else (besides what I already have) is to find the right man, get married & buy a house. :D It's a great dream, right!! What's so difficult is that it's completely out of my control, all I can do is pray about it and prepare myself for the blessing. What I struggle with is feeling "ok" in the meantime until it happens. Some days/weeks I feel completely fine and sometimes even that it's better this way for now. But lately, oh my goodness, the desire has been SO INTENSE I can't even handle it. I've been pondering lately about other potential blessings filling in the void, for example I think, what if I was blessed with an amazing house in the country- would that satisfy my desire? Or if I was blessed to inherit a lot of money- would that make me satisfied? Truthfully, and I'm not sure why I need to write this down, sounds pretty obvious as I'm typing, NOTHING would ever satisfy that desire. Nothing worldly can replace it, no house and no amount of money can take it's place.
I believe that realization to be a good thing. Means my heart is where it's supposed to be. Even if I struggle with my situation in the meantime.
It must be something in the air, or our walls. I've been feeling it so intensely as of late!!! I'm tired of this emotional roller coaster!
ReplyDeleteLove ya girl and if you want to talk, I'm here!
-krystle