piEceS

I am pretty excited about life right now. :D 

I have met someone super special who is amazing! 

{incredible & amazing!}

One thing I really love is how it feels like we are two pieces in a puzzle that fit perfectly 

together. 

 I've never felt like a piece to a puzzle. 

And I like it! 

Zoo: INFORMAL a place that is very noisy and full of people behaving badly

I thought that description described my household! 

Below are recent pics of B and the Zoo!

"I-Eee"

"Mommy soda, Me I-Eee"

He put his flip flops by mommy's 

We did this yesterday. We were there in the hundred+ degree heat! 

We survived. 

Bentley for the longest time walked around the water park. He really doesn't love water. 

I think this shot is so cute. 

We went with three other families. He loved playing with Hunter & Kylie! :D

Riding the carousel

This shot is for my mom. Here's one that's never been road kill! 

Giraffes

B loves "Dibby"

He wasn't lion! It was HOT outside!!!! 

Our girlfriends

My little monkey watching the monkeys. 

I love the chimps & monkeys the very most. They are so wise. 

hahahahahaHA!!!

When he's being super stubborn he won't look at the camera on purpose. 

I love how Bentley is looking at Maryn! 

Feeding the giraffes :D He was scared!

DINO's

We traveled to Jurassic Park

"Do Not Feed The Animals"

haha

Our Pedal Boat excursion.

He was bracing himself for the collision we were about to have with the big water fountain!

He wasn't a fan!

Happy Heart

Yep! The Lord is good to me. :) 

Photo Shoot

My loves <3

I Need Help

Two is not much fun! Oh my. I miss my girls to help me. Bentley misses the girls. He is so used to having kids to play with and pay attention to him. I am struggling to get my work done and to stay sane. 

Yesterday while I was working on a really hard order he destroyed my room. He dumped folded laundry over then decided to dump the trash can on top of it all. He likes to plug things into the outlet like lamps, and phone chargers, etc so that keeps him busy. Ahhhhh!!! 

Today he was being so bad. He keeps biting and hitting me. And I was happy when it was nap time so I could work MORE on the cat order that turned into such a nightmare. 

About 45 minutes after I laid him down I went in to find him naked so I put his diaper back on and laid him back down. I was determined to be strong and I figured he would go to sleep like he normally does. 45 minutes after that I gave in and went in to get him out to find him nude again and  this on the floor. :( 

Ah crap! 

I had already washed his sheets once this morning when his diaper leaked. 

My nightmare order took ALL day. Again. I was quite frustrated. I finished with a half hour to spare with the post office hours and when I came downstairs I stepped in something sticky that leaked from my garbage bag earlier and as my foot stuck I reached for my purse to accidentally pull my "sisters" figurine onto the floor. 

You know that line in Dumb & Dumber when he says "my birds heads are falling off!"

This could be me today. Without my head & surrounded in poo. 

Perhaps I will leave this on my counter to remind me of how I feel most days. 

I feel sad because this set has meaning to me. 

And I can't even blame my kids for breaking it! ;D

I used to like cats but not anymore. 

These 6 decals were not nice. I re-printed at least 20 of these decals and layered and layered and then re-printed some more. 

So happy they are complete. Not overly happy with the outcome but it was as good as I could possibly do. 

The white outline was cut by hand and I won't make myself document just how much work they were. It's sufficient to just say they are done after 3 days devoted to just them (and a 2 year old).

The "No Mud" Mud Run

I signed up to do a really fun "MuD Run" last weekend. It was the first time I've ever considered anything like it! 

We went in as a team with me and four other guys. Skyler was the 5th team member and signed up the night before so his name wasn't on our shirts but we gave him Studly, Stellar, Skyler! 

Us Before

 We quickly learned it wasn't much of a mud run since there was NO mud but we had fun in the sand and water! 

 That's me at the top. :) You had to use a rope to pull yourself up the slick slope on the other side then climb down. It was HARD the second time around especially since you just came out of the ocean and your shoes and the wood was slippery. I made it though and I was pleased. 

Even though I'm still sore three days later. 

 under the barb wire in the dirty water :) Yeah baby!

 It was important for me to share this experience with Skyler before he goes off to college again. I was really grateful. He was awesome. 

 Our after pose

We are planning to run in the real mud run this fall. It's also a 5k. Or I should say it's really a 5k since there was  no way this one could have been over 3 miles. 

Small Problem

I may have gone wrong somewhere... My boy knows what Buc-cee's means but not bucket.

55%

A few days ago I had a conversation with a couple of my friends about my parenting lately and where I'm lacking/my biggest stressors. I took inventory of my heart and gave my most accurate portrayal that my children are only getting 55% of their mother. I am always ON! There's always so much that demands my time, energy, & efforts. Later that day as I was pondering my situation it made perfect sense that my kids are only getting about half of their mom because I'm missing the other half to help me. I'm doing twice as much to try to maintain & sustain life.

Not that long ago I would say I wanted a companion, not because i needed help, but to share joys with. In a very emotionally healthy way I now know I want a companion to help me & to share joys and life with.

I am always stressed out. I don't want to be. I need to learn how to do this. I want my kids to get more of their mom. I want to enjoy more. I want to listen more. I want to be "present" more.

Try the Back Door

Last week was a really rough week. Several things happened all at once and I felt like I was being pounded on every side. It seemed as if in every aspect I was being tried and I was so beat down. I can remember one other week feeling similar and at the end of that week was a great blessing and I knew the week leading up to it was in opposition. 

One of the things that was really frustrating last week was my jammed printer as well as my vinyl printer not cutting precisely. My printer jammed right before I was heading out to an appointment. I tried to carefully pull the jammed paper out of the front of it but only made it worse as little pieces kept breaking off, leaving less and less paper to work with. I tried to take the top off of the printer in hopes to access the jam but to no avail. I felt overwhelmed along with everything else going on. I left for my appointment feeling frustrated and concerned that I wouldn't be able to fix it. As I got home that day I was too busy to look at it and I didn't get a chance the next day to look at it either. 

It was two days later when life had slowed down for two seconds when I had a chance to work on the jam again. I again tried to pull the paper out of the front and "feed" it through via the button on the face of the printer. Nothing, nothing. Then I had the {brilliant} thought to turn the printer around! Oh hey, there's a thought!! I turned it around to find a magical, hidden. little door. What do you know, it gave me instant access to my jam ;) I was quite relieved and happy. And felt dumb! haha I had to slow down and think. I wonder how many other things in my life can be better solved by trying this process of slowing down and thinking. Perhaps even stepping away for a period of time and re-visiting the problem later. 

I was so thankful to find the back door. 

Hard Things

At one point today I was convinced that FINDING God's will is the most difficult thing to do. Even harder than carrying it out. But as I found it & acted on it I am reminded of how difficult it is each time to lay our will on the alter for His. Especially when our will is righteous. Learning to let go of what is in our reach and trust for something better is not easy. My heart is broken.

On top of this my baby boy leaves tomorrow morning on a trip for 5 days which will overlap his sisters leaving Sunday for six weeks. My heart...

Dating

I don't know how to date. At this point in my life obviously I'm not dating to just have fun. It is very clear to me that I have a trust issue. I hope it's not too apparent to others but I am terrified I'm being played all the time and terrified I'm being strung along. My instinct is to jump ship to save myself the pain of yet another broken heart. I'm forcing myself to hold on to hope and move forward with faith. It's not easy though. I thought dating was suppose to be fun. I guess not so much in my shoes.

Also want to note how much of a struggle it is to find just enough chemistry/spark/passion to carry a relationship through to a marriage but not too much to compromise my values on the way.

Birthday Parties