Tuesday, June 5, 2012

The Peacegiver


I received a really hurtful & nasty message yesterday that came out of the blue. I feel like I try my very best to make ends meet and to take care of everyone and to have peace in my life and relationships. I tried to respond to the message in a way that I wouldn't regret and then tried to process what had happened. I tried to let it go and still enjoy my day, which happened to be right before my daughter's birthday party.

I let it go as best I could at that time.

What followed was really incredible. I had the best evening. I felt much happiness and joy when I could have felt overwhelmed with extra kids in the house and stress. I received a message on Facebook from a father in the ward that was filled with kind words. It meant a lot to me. Then, that night I was able to chat with someone I have been wanting to talk to! It was awesome. A really great night. I went to bed and asked Heavenly Father to help me forgive what had happened earlier. I fell asleep and woke up at 5:30 to use the restroom and remembered I didn't blow up balloons for Bella's birthday that morning. So, I did that and as I laid back down to sleep I couldn't. I laid there pondering and it came into my mind how the Lord overcompensated with blessings the night before. Then, I remembered a principle I learned in The Peacegiver (by James Ferrell) in that the Lord acts as an intercessor and stands between you and the offender (whether it be someone who hurts you or something) and He blesses you & fills the void if we forgive. It's as if we are to forgive Him even though He's perfect and then He will bless us and fill the void. I was amazed at how I felt of that from the night before and all the blessings I received. It is one way the Atonement is real in my daily life. And the next morning I received another message from a different person who offered to excuse a large portion of a debt I owe. It was random and totally unexpected.
I am amazed at the blessings I receive when I do my best and am learning to only care about what the Lord thinks of me and not so much of what others think of me, especially when others can always find something to be upset with me about because I am imperfect.

If you have not read this book I highly recommend it. It has changed my life. I have learned so many lessons from it including not feeling entitled to anything. 

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